Marijuana in some cases is used medically to treat patients with severe illness and/or eating disabilities. Cancer patients are prescribed with the drug to help endure the pain of chemotherapy, as well as others using it to give them an appetite. It is also used to relax ones nerves, too calm them down. Marijuana is currently illegal, but if it becomes legalized, it would definately serve a better purpose than it's used today.
.
.
According to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health, in 2007, 14.4 million Americans aged 12 or older used marijuana at least once in the month prior to being surveyed, which is similar to the 2006 rate. About 6,000 people a day in 2007 used marijuana for the first time—2.1 million Americans. Of these, 62.2 percent were under age 18. We can conclude here that the use of Marijuana is widely spread and it's use will continue to grow.
As one uses the substance more often, they tend to believe that they are not addicted to it's use and that they can stop whenever they want. The question is when do you stop. A number of people that I have encountered in my life have told me they have a continued use of the substance, and they are still the same successful people that they are. My little experiment. The use of the drug has had no apparent physical affect on there bodies. Many of these people I know who smoke have told me they had been smoking daily for 9 years. Still the same person as before. No alterations to there personality at all and just something used for personal pleasure and maybe to help one get through a hard rough day at the office. Remember, there has never been a death related or caused by the direct use of the drug.I believe it was put on this earth for a reason otherwise it wouldn't be here. Everything in it's own way serves a purpose. Many of use dislike the creation of honey bees, but without them we would have no honey. Wouldn't that not be so sweet...
Marijuana was used in the ancient times as well. It had been introduced into European medicine shortly after the invasion of Egypt by Napoleon and had a minor vogue as an intoxicant for a time in France. Napoleon used the substance as a military advantage. His troops were using the drug and in result, were able to basically be superhuman. Battling off different climats and able to walk through different types of terrain with no problem. They seemed to be invincible. They were just given this external power somehow, and this was primarily due to the use of cannabis, known as marijuana.
Marijuana has been around for quite a while, with it being popular and well known, this drug will continue to be used for medicines and other uses of the drug may never end. Even when anti drug campaigns kicked in making the substance illegal, and even after burning a whole lot of the drug in NYC, it's use is still widely spread and doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. Nor can it be stopped!!! As illegal as it is today, the availability to obtain it and use it recreationally is at an even greater high than all time.
1. Introduction:
ReplyDelete- The essay will be about marijuana
- Writer’s position: idk/not clear
- Suggestions for improving the introduction:
o Write a thesis statement
o Take a position on the topic
Jessica You
ReplyDelete1A) About the use of marijuana and its effect on people.
1B) Taking the side of legalizing this drug...
1C) The introduction states what harms the use of marijuana can do.
1D) The thesis should be clear and included in the intro. Also some statistics and a bit of info to start out, along with the counter-arguments.
2) Writer's arguments that support the thesis:
*If marijuana was used in the right way, then perhaps it'd serve a better purpose than used today.
*Many people have used marijuana, and many more will be using it as the popularity of it continues to grow.
*Many people have used this substance, but are still the same successful people.
*The use of drugs has had no apparent physical affect on their bodies.
*It's just something for personal pleasure and get one through a hard rough day at the office.
*There has never been a death related or caused by the direct use of this drug.
*Believe it was put on earth for a reason...
*Been used as medicines and for the good.
3) Counter-arguments:
*It's believed that the long-term use of marijuana has bad effect on a person.
*This intoxication can cause distorted perceptions, impaired coordination, and difficulty thinking, and problem of learning and memory.
*The negative effects can last for days and weeks.
4A) The writer give examples and support to oppose the counter-arguments.
4B) The writer's strongest point is its positive use for medicines.
4C) The weakest point is believe it was put on earth for a reason. Because that'd make it too broad; everything in this world exist for a reason, but those reasons can do harm.
4D) There should be your own ideas and arguments stated on the intro, because I feel that the whole intro is about counter-arguments only.
4E) Try to incorporate more statistics and on how its use for medicine has benefited.
4F) Another counter-argument you might want to include is that the users of this drug might suffer from brain damage, in that having anxiety and paranoid thoughts.
5) [The whole intro needs to be redone to provide the arguments, as well as a clear thesis...]
6) "Cancer patients are prescribed the drug to help make it through the pains of chemotherapy, as others use it to help curb there appetites because they have no urge for food."
[revised] Cancer patients are prescribed with the drug to help endure the pain of chemotherapy, as well as others using it to give them an appetite.
"It is currently illegal, but if used in the right ways, shown above, than maybe perhaps if it were legal it would serve a greater purpose than used today."
[revised] Marijuana is currently illegal, but if it becomes legalized, it would definately serve a better purpose than it's used today.
7) There are many mispelled words and grammatical error...
"It's use, well it was there for quite some time. A lot about the substance is known and the use and continued use of the drug may never end."
[revised] Marijuana has been around for quite a while, with it being popular and well known, this drug will continue to be used for medicines and others.
Zheng,Zhangzhang
ReplyDelete1
-This essay will be about marijuana.
-I think he is taking the side of legalizing this drug.
-Nothing hooks my attention.
-make the thesis more clear.I would't figure out what position are you taking if i didn't read
the whole essay.
2
-If marijuana was used in the right way, then perhaps it'd serve a better purpose than used
today.
-Many people have used marijuana, and many more will be using it as the popularity of it
continues to grow.
-Many people have used this substance, but are still the same successful people.
-The use of drugs has had no apparent physical affect on their bodies.
-It's just something for personal pleasure and get one through a hard rough day at the office.
-There has never been a death related or caused by the direct use of this drug.
-Believe it was put on earth for a reason.
3
-marijuana intoxication can cause distorted perceptions, impaired coordination, difficulty in
thinking and problem solving, and problems with learning and memory.
4
A-He deals with the opposition well."However, this may only be the effect of some of it's heavy
users. Since there are no deaths related to the elicit use of the such drugs, people don't think
it could be so bad."
B-The example of how Napoleon used marijuana as a military advantage. It hleps support his
viewpoint.
D-The points are organized pretty good.
E-The medical benefit of Marijuana.
F-You can talk about the price of Marijuana is very high, once people get addict to it, it is a
lot of money.
5
Even though marijuana has a lot of bad effects, but if used the right way, it can be of great
help.
７
-Research has shown that marijuana’s adverse impact on learning and memory can last for days or
weeks after the acute effects of the drug wears (of). ---off
-It is currently illegal, but if used in the right ways, shown above, (than) maybe perhaps if it
were legal it would serve a greater purpose than used today. ---then
-Battling off different (climats) and able to walk through different types of terrain with no
problem. ---climates
1. A) The essay will be about the use of marijuana and its effects on its users.
ReplyDeleteB) It is unclear to me if the writer is taking the side of for marijuana or against it.
C) The harmful effects of marijuana.
D) The thesis statement should be at the beginning of the introduction to clearly state your position on the topic.
2. –Marijuana can be used to treat patients if used the right way.
- There is no stopping the use of Marijuana; statistics show use of Marijuana will keep growing.
- Interview with other people that uses Marijuana shows no side effects or physical effects despite years of smoking Marijuana.
- Marijuana used in ancient times, such as Napoleon using it on his soldiers to win battles.
3) – Marijuana can negatively impact one’s learning and memory even days after the drug has worn off.
- That Long-term Marijuana use can have harmful effects on its users, such as distorted perceptions, etc…
4. A) The writer deals well with the opposition by showing the harmful effects of using Marijuana.
B) The writer’s strongest point is by providing tons of information on the good side of using Marijuana, even providing information that Marijuana was used in the ancient times to further help strengthen his argument.
C) I don’t see any weak points, except some minor grammar problems.
D) The points are organized well, but maybe it’s better to shorten the introduction as there are too many information in there, and have a new paragraph describing your counterargument.
E) I think the writer cover pretty much of the viewpoints that would help him strengthen his argument.
F) The addiction of Marijuana and how it can turn someone into a drug addict.
5) Marijuana has often been considered harmful, but with the right use, it can be beneficial.
6) “Research has shown that marijuana’s adverse impact on learning and memory can last for days or weeks after the acute effects of the drug wears of”
Revised: According to research, marijuana can have negative impact one one’s learning and memory even weeks after the drug have worn off.
“It is believed and not surprisingly, marijuana intoxication can cause distorted perceptions, impaired coordination, difficulty in thinking and problem solving, and problems with learning and memory.”
Revised: It is believed that marijuana intoxication can cause distorted perceptions, impaired coordination, and difficulty in learning processes.
7) There are some minor grammar errors, such as I think there are too many usages of commas. Also there are spelling errors, for example the “of” in the sentence “Research has shown that marijuana’s…drug wears of” is suppose to be spelled “off”
1.
ReplyDelete-marijuana
-not sure if its for or against it
-stating the effects of the drug
-try to make it more clear if you are for or against the drug. maybe start off with a statistic to hook the readers attention.
2.
-it can be used to treat people in the hospital if used the right way
-relax ones nerves
-many people use it already
-there has never been a death related to using this drug
-people used it in war
-not addictive
3.
-distorted perceptions
-impared coordination
-difficulty thinking and problem solving
-illegal
-side effects can last for days
4.
-he deals with the opposition well
-his strongest point was stating how people use it in hospitals to treat patients
-no weak points
-this is organized well, but the intro needs more work to show what side you are on.
-another strong point you can add is you can state all the bad things about alcohol and ciggarettes, and how they are legal and marijuana isn't, when its never caused any deaths.
-another counter-argument you can add is how many people get into accidents from use of this drug.
5.
new thesis- Marijuana should be legalized in the United States.
6.
-A number of people that I have encountered in my life have told me they have a continued use of the substance, and they are still the same successful people that they are.
-Many people that I have encountered in my life told me they have continually used this substance while remaining the successful people they are.
-No alterations to there personality at all and just something used for personal pleasure and maybe to help one get through a hard rough day at the office.
-Used as something for personal pleasure or to help get through a long day at the office, showed no alterations in their personalities.
7.
the only thing i would suggest is to revise your intro, having it state your position on the matter. i also think you should add a statistic in there, as well as more statistics in the rest of the paper. you should also maybe add restrictions on the drug, like if it became legal if you should be able to smoke while driving, ect.
1) Introduction
ReplyDelete- Marijuana
- The writer is for legalizing Marijuana
- The introduction hooks my attention by including the effects that Marijuana has on people in a negative ways.
- The introduction has grammatical errors. The writer can also begin elaborating more on what side he is taking from the start of the essay. Reading just the introduction, we begin understanding that marijuana has horrible effects on us and then it leads towards the fact that its not bad depending on how we use the drug. Counter arguments can be added in the introduction as well.
2. Arguments:
- Marijuana in some cases is used medically to treat patients with severe illness and/or eating disabilities.
-It's just something for personal pleasure and get one through a hard rough day at the office.
- Many people have used marijuana, and many more will be using it as the popularity of it continues to grow.
3. Counterarguments:
- marijuana intoxication can cause distorted perceptions, impaired coordination, difficulty in thinking and problem solving, and problems with learning and memory.
- It's believed that the long-term use of marijuana has bad effect on a person.
4. Questions:
The writer deals with the opposition in a well manner.
The strongest point of the writer was the negative affects that marijuana has on people.
The weakest point that the writer portrays are the arguments. They can be more in depth and elaborated. Also, to my opinion, I think you should read out loud, a lot of things don’t make sense or are being repeated. Also, I would make a separate paragraph of opinion based sentences. Ex.. A number of people that I have encountered in my life have told me they have a continued use of the substance, and they are still the same successful people that they are.
The points of the arguments can be fixed up. You should go through from the start by introducing what side your taking by starting off with your arguments and then go more into detail about the benefits of having this drug legalized, and then lead towards the negatives that it has.
One more counterargument can be the memory loss, and the decreasing capacity of peoples lungs during Marijuana use.
5. Thesis Statement:
Marijuana, even though has been seen for the negative effects that it has on people, can also be used as a something beneficial in medical terms.
6. Revised Sentences:
- It is believed and not surprisingly, marijuana intoxication can cause distorted perceptions, impaired coordination, difficulty in thinking and problem solving, and problems with learning and memory
REVISED:
- It is believed that marijuana intoxication can cause distorted perceptions, impaired coordination, difficulty in thinking and problem solving, problems with learning as well as memory problems.
- As illegal as it is today, the availability to obtain it and use it recreationally is at an even greater high than all time.
REVISED:
- Marijuana illegal up till this day, yet still having the ability to be obtain and used recreationally due to its availability is higher then has ever been.
7. - believe it was put on this earth for a reason otherwise it wouldn't be here.
I would eliminate this sentence.
- Grammatical errors.
- Separate your opinion from the middle of the thesis.
- Add more of your opinion on how and where the drug would be sold and to who.
- Revise the whole introduction.
1. A) This essay is going to be about Marijuana
ReplyDeleteb) the writer is taking the position on making marijuana legal.
c) the writer hooks my attention by mention what the believers believe about the effects of the drug.
d) In the introduction, the writer does not clearly mention what he is arguing. The thesis statement she be clear and simple, straight forward.
2. the writers arguments are:
many people us the drug.
Relaxing you,
relieves stress.
Medical use
3. the writers counter arguments are:
distorted perceptions,
impaired coordination,
difficulty in thinking and problem solving,
and problems with learning and memory.
4. A) the writer mentions some counterarguments but doesn’t go into depth with them.
b) the strongest point I feel is that no one has died from the drug. People die from cigarettes and those are legal.
c) the weakest point is that the essay is not a strong argument. If you give statistics, write out you arguments in depth then the essay would be good.
d) the points are in a effective manner but they need to be more in depth.
E) another strong argument can be that cigarettes kill many people every year and they are legal, marijuana hasn’t killed any body and its illegal. You can also mention countries that legalize marijuana.
f) a counterargument can be if marijuana is legalized the country cant tax it and they will lose money because sales for cigarette would go down.
5. Marijuana should be legalized in the United States.
6. It is believed that long term use of Marijuana can have a negative harmful effect on a person. REVISED: Marijuana is believed to have a long term negative effect on a person.
It is also used to relax ones nerves, too calm them down. REVISED: It is also used for relaxation.
7. There are many grammatical mistakes, many misspelled words. Use more statistics. Write in length your arguments/ counterarguments.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete1. A. The essay will be about marijuana.
ReplyDeleteB. Not sure what the argument is from the introduction. [The writer wants to legalize marijuana.]
C. The effects that marijuana can have on a person.
D. Make the thesis statement clearer, with out reading the full essay I wouldn’t have known what position you are taking.
2. –Marijuana is used for medical purposes.
- The use of marijuana is already widespread and it will continue to grow.
- People have used the drug and still remain the same.
3. – It can impair coordination, distort perception
- Causes difficulty in thinking and problem solving
- Affects learning and memory
- Effects can last for days.
4. A. The writer addresses the counterargument well.
B. The strongest point, I thought, was the fact that it can be used as a form of medicine.
C. The weakest point is the second paragraph, it’s awkward; it needs more explanation.
D. The essay is organized well.
E. I think everything is pretty much covered
F. What happens to people that are caught with the illegal substance.
5. Although marijuana seems to have many negative affects; however, it can be used beneficially.
6. It is believed and not surprisingly, marijuana intoxication can cause distorted perceptions, impaired coordination, difficulty in thinking and problem solving, and problems with learning and memory.
It is also said that marijuana intoxication can cause distorted perception, impaired coordination, difficulties with problem solving in addition to learning and memory issues.
A number of people that I have encountered in my life have told me they have a continued use of the substance, and they are still the same successful people that they are. My little experiment. The use of the drug has had no apparent physical affect on there bodies.
Many people that I have met, have told me they continuously use the drug, yet they are the same; the use of the drug has no affect on their bodies.
7. – Clear thesis statement.
- Some of your sentences can be joined.
1. A. Legalizing marijuana or keeping it illegal.
ReplyDeleteB. The writer believes legalizing mariijuana will have more benefits.
C. The introduction "hooked" my attention by stating what most people think are the effects from marijuana.
D. State your side in the introduction.
2. -People who had been/are smoking marijuana are still the same people they are. There aren't any negative physical effects done to the body.
-Marijuana relieves stress and other medical problems.
-Whether marijuana becomes legal or not, people will still use it.
3. -Marijuana is believed to cause distorted perceptions, impaired coordination, difficulty in thinking and problem solving, and problems with learning and memory.
4. A. The writer states the negative effects of marijuana but doesn't go into detail.
B. The writer's strongest point is including how marijuana had not caused any deaths yet.
C. The writer's weakest point is the ending of the fourth paragraph. "I believe it was put on this earth for a reason otherwise it wouldn't be here. Everything in it's own way serves a purpose." It just sounds weird to me, as if you only wrote that to make your essay longer.
D. The fifth paragraph should follow the second paragraph because they both relate to the medical use of marijuana.
E. Street drug disputes would be reduced.
F. Marijuana is often used as a stepping stone drug, leading to other harder drugs.
5. Legalizing marijuana will have more benefits.
6. "Remember, there has never been a death related or caused by the direct use of the drug."
Take away remember.
7. "The use of the drug has had no apparent physical affect on there bodies."
"No alterations to there personality"
their
1. A. Negative harmful effects of marijuana.
ReplyDeleteB. Against the use of marijuana
C. Talks about the effects of marijuana on memory and learning. Also states this maybe vary only too heavy users of this drug.
D. It could be better if you fix some mistakes. You can combine the first two sentences and making it shorter because you used “it is believed” twice
2. Arguments
- 14.4 million people used marijuana from the age 12 to older
- Addiction
3. Counterarguments
- marijuana is used for medical treatment
4. A. You deal with ur opposition well. You talk about how it8is used for medical treatment. You also mention how it was used in ancient time for medicine as well.
B. Your strongest point would have to be that you have a lot of information.
C. Your weakest point would have to be that you didn’t elaborate much on the survey. Also you have like 3 different paragraphs talking about the medical use on marijuana maybe you can combine some and make it shorter.
D. I think you should mention the survey before the medical use and the addiction.
E. Talk about how the effect of police on people exposing marijuana to public.
F. One counterargument could be that not a lot of people die from smoking marijuana compared to cigarettes.
5. “It is believed that long term use of Marijuana can have a negative harmful effect on a person”
6. It is believed that long term use of Marijuana can lead to negative harmful effects on a person’s health.
7. “A number of people that I have encountered in my life have told me they have a continued use of the substance, and they are still the same successful people that they are.”
-A number of people that I have encountered in my life have told me they have used marijuana countless time. They sat that they are the same successful people.
“My little experiment.”
-I don’t see the purpose of this sentence….